Me: I wish I was alive in the '60s
people: Do you wanna be subject to racism
Me: yeah I wanna be subject--bITch idgaf I wanna get married to Jimmy Page. Suck my dick subject to racism
6 hours agomother-nature-on-the-runthe-lightningqueen 83 notes

bullied:

my idea of a good time is eating food while downloading music in bed

6 hours agounfollovvingbullied 13,626 notes

troyesivan:

if you lose your phone in your blankets, its gone forever. accept it

6 hours agowhitedadtroyesivan 22,492 notes

2spooky4boo:

Restroom air dryers are a great way to warm your hands before wiping them on your jeans

6 hours agoshouldntsir-broccoli 268,586 notes

tongue-toyed:

i never really liked

my name

much

until i found out

what it tastes like

when you write it in frosting

on top of a cake

6 hours agoarmadillotongue-toyed 245,208 notes

asmilinggoddess:

the year is 2014 AD. the human race has existed for over 200,000 years. men still think women pee out of the vagina.

6 hours agopizzarncpriceley 233,328 notes

blissless:

*constantly checks refrigerator hoping food magically appears*

6 hours agosonofaturdblissless 95,003 notes

can i apologize in advance for basically everything i will ever do

8 hours agosniffingwhiteboyfriend 264,649 notes

cumaddict72:

chekhov:

So this hot substitute logged into netflix and I wrote down the email with which he did it and used a service (it cost like $2) to find all other accounts connected to that email and I found his (private) twitter so I made a fake twitter of a hot girl and added a bunch of tweets over the course of a month to make it look legit and then I requested to follow him and he let me and he is the most goddamn boring person in the world

you need to be arrested

9 hours agomoistbottomchekhov 127,216 notes

crystallized-teardrops:

STEPPING OUT OF THE SHOWER IS LIKE LANDING IN ANTARCTICA

9 hours agopenisvvrinklecrystallized-teardrops 40,507 notes
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